Enjoy This Time

Every now and then I get this feeling of "holy crap can I get two hours alone, outside of the house that doesn't involve running errands"? It's not often but boy it hits like a ton of bricks when it does.

I tried to go to the gym for spin class and that failed. Miserable. Like, never do I want to leave Gabby alone again type of miserable. I dropped off Rosalie and gabby at child watch, went to set up my bike and then used the restroom. The restroom is across the hall from child watch. She was wailing. Blood curdling, hyperventilating screaming. She calmed down after I went in to pick her up. I was obviously not going to let her scream like that for an hour. If you know gabby at all you know she doesn't calm easily. It wouldn't have been fair to her and I would not have enjoyed my work out. Plus, it was snowy and icy out so I left. I left crying. Crying because she was so upset, because Rosalie was unhappy to leave, because I missed my work out and wasted money. It was in that moment that I realized, again, they're only little for so long. They don't know better. I needed a reminder to take in all the cuddles, hugs, silly sounds, kisses, funny faces and most importantly time that I get with these beautiful girls. Sometimes I think I need a snap back into reality. I'm so thankful for these beautiful girls we've been blessed with. I can't imagine life being more perfect than it is right now.

I won't lie and say it doesn't suck majorly that I haven't gotten my hair done in 6 months, gone shopping (for more than 1/2 an hour) alone, heck even my errands I've almost always got gabby. Not that this a complaint, it's not, it's more of an observation as I realize I should enjoy these moments rather than be upset about not getting "me" time outside the house. They need me and that's what's important. They won't always need me. That will be a sad day I'm sure.

So when someone says to me, "time for gabby to get out of your bed" or "you hold her too much" or anything of the sort, I just nod and smile and say eventually or something to that effect. I'm taking it all in, doing this a bit differently than the norm. Doing what works for us, not for anyone else.